Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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