No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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