If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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