Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize