i permit you to call me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
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