found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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