It was confusing and full of hummus
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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