Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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