WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
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Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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