Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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