I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Text me some of your sweat
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