since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
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