its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize