my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
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the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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