We should be called the Road Head Warriors
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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