When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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