Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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