He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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