well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
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She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
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For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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