My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I need to stop coming to work sober
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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