You're my little dorito
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize