I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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