I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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