Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
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I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
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Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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