when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize