Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
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His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
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After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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