I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize