she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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