omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize