Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
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we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
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Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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