it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize