I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize