omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize