Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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