he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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