you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
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i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
this is an emotional support booty call
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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