He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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