The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Randomize