Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
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Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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