eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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