Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize