By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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