2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize