One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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