I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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