brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
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Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize