You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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