whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize