i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
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