Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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